Linking habits, attitude, identity, and hard work, this essay provides a guideline for mastering yourself and achieving your goals.

How To Achieve Your Goals: A Guide

When will you realise that your life is in your hands?

The purpose of this article is to provide a sense of the incredible ability of humans to push themselves and humanity forward, even when there is seemingly no prospect of success. Most importantly, it intends to demonstrate that you are no different from the greats, the legends; it is all about believing in yourself, adopting habits, beliefs and routines that will, slowly but surely, realise your dreams and goals. Along the way, are snippets of quotes, poetry, and passages that I hope bring these words to life and create a broader perspective of this certainly non-exhaustive exploration.

These are difficult times, but will you blame your misfortune on your circumstances or on others? Or will you pick yourself up and realise that your life is in your hands?

We ought to suffer in a way that gets us somewhere worth going. We must “suffer and endure towards virtue”, as Musonius Rufus, the unbreakable Stoic, once said.

Why?

Many seem to think that as time goes on, technology will automatically get better, but that is not necessarily true. It takes the hard work and perseverance of individuals and companies to develop ideas as revolutionary as the internet, genetic engineering, or nuclear power. The same applies to you and your life.

Are you waiting for things to get better?

That is not to say that you can control all aspects of your life, certainly not. It is incredibly important to distinguish between events that you can control and those that you cannot, events that are in your sphere of interest versus events that are in your sphere of influence.

Instead, how are you approaching your life and what do you want to get out of it?

Why improve yourself?

These questions may seem silly, but why?

If you are comfortable as you are, you may say you are not an ambitious person, then why change that?

Why put yourself under unnecessary stress and anxiety when the alternative is being in control, at ease, with stable routines and patterns that minimise stress and risk?

There is some merit to this view.

In a world filled with constant stimulation and a mantra that says, ‘Don’t stop striving, stay busy, keep working at it, if you are resting you are not doing it right’, what is wrong with simply sitting back and accepting yourself?

Anxiety levels have risen significantly over the last decade, now affecting one in thirteen people worldwide, 7% of the world’s population, or 598, 376, 474 people, nearly twice the population of the United States. Therefore, it seems that my asking of questions like, ‘what are you doing to improve yourself’, is simply contributing to the pressure that the internet and society is placing on your shoulders.

However, as with most things, there needs to be a balance. You can strive towards your goals and place yourself in uncomfortable or risky situations, enjoying the process of pushing yourself, pushing humanity and technological progress forward, whilst appreciating what you have. This balance is key to a joyful and satisfying life and underpins everything that I discuss.

How our attitudes determine our lives

“When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influence, and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and dying a cold horror. It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world.” — John Steinbeck, East of Eden

First, why investigate the idea of attitude?

Attitude is fundamental to performing well and handling rejection and failure. We all realise that a positive attitude is more beneficial than that of despair. Attitude is one of the few instruments of our lives that is fully within our control, the approach we use to face the inevitable trials of life governing and controlling our success.

Countless studies support this claim. A Stanford University study, intending to illuminate the neurocognitive mechanisms by which positive attitude influences learning and academic achievement, pinpointed the ways in which a positive attitude improved the functions of the hippocampus, the area of the brain responsible for memory. Interestingly, the researchers behind this study claimed that the contribution of positive attitude to achievement, in areas such as mathematics, was as large as the contribution from IQ. [2]

Likewise, King’s College London conducted a study of 102 patients diagnosed with anxiety disorder to investigate if positive visualisation could supplant intrusive negative thoughts. All participants reported decreased levels of worry and anxiety, even when these different forms of positive visualisation were completely unrelated to the content of the worry itself! [3]

Similar to these studies, the American Psychological Association investigated the benefits of frequent positive affect, asking, ‘does happiness lead to success?’ The study found that a positive mindset precedes numerous successful outcomes, as well as behaviours paralleling success. [4]

So what does this all mean?

As Newton’s second law states:

Motion begets motion

So too is the case for attitude and achievement

Positive begets positive

Optimistic thoughts lead to constructive and tangible progress

The origins and workings of attitude

With what attitude are you reading these words?

What attitude do you bring to life?

Similar to personality, attitude varies over time, emotions tending to influence our attitude in certain situations. However, it is important to note that our feelings, our emotions, are distinct from a more fundamental attitude, one that we carry with us in our everyday lives.

This fundamental attitude is determined and influenced by tragic events, our upbringing, but most significantly our beliefs. These determinants are most certainly interlinked and not mutually exclusive. As one cannot control such tragic events or their upbringing, I will focus on belief.

Our beliefs

Whether we know it or not

Determine our responses

Our actions

They are the lenses through which we interpret the world.

For instance, a child may have always been told to be quiet, to put others first in every scenario, consequently growing up with no sense of what they truly value, dependent on the happiness of others for their own contentment. Their decisions and choices will reflect this view of themselves, that their choices are inferior and so they will choose the paths that others set out for them.

The point is:

Our actions reflect the beliefs we have about ourselves.

As Mahatma Gandhi put it, ‘action expresses priorities.’ We are all influenced by our beliefs, impacted by upbringing, events, and society, you just have to find out what yours are.

How do you view yourself?

Why is that?

Delve deeper and investigate.

For many, such views may be more fundamental or consolidated, whilst others may be changing, dependent on external events:

Fundamental beliefs:

You are an outgoing person
You are an anxious person

Circumstantial beliefs:

How you view yourself depending on how well a conversation goes with someone you like
How you view yourself depending on how much you get paid.

Regardless of what these are, once you investigate your beliefs and the reasons behind them, you can start to change those beliefs that hinder emotional progress and thus tangible growth and improvement.

Perhaps your goal is to create a business that spans the globe and makes billions of pounds, but you say that you are too shy or introverted to be a leader, to sell your ideas and innovate. This is a belief that is holding you back, hindering you from achieving what you desire. Now that is not to say that you do not feel confident or you feel shy at this current point in time.

The problem in this belief is that there is no scope for change

No belief that you are actually able to become more confident, regardless of how your brain is structured. Do not confuse extroversion with confidence. You are not born with confidence. Every time we learn or experience something, we create and adjust our synaptic connections, adjusting the way our neurons communicate with each other. Confidence can be learnt.

You are not shy, you feel shy

You are not sad, you feel sad

Remember, do not internalise your feelings or identify with them

They are ever-changing

Passing clouds.

It is a subtle but important distinction

One method of thinking creates a set outcome whilst the other recognises that feelings are impermanent, allowing you to progress.

So, classify those beliefs that are certain

That create a fixed and permanent outcome or outline of yourself.

Write them down

Ask why they are so and once you have done that.

You can move on to adopting a more positive mindset and attitude.

Beliefs you have about yourself drive your long-term behaviour. It is important to note that beliefs determine attitude but so too does attitude determine belief — hence the popular phrase, ‘Fake it ’til you make it’, where through imitating confidence, competence, and an optimistic mindset, a person can realise those qualities in their real life. However, you need to shift your underlying identity for long-lasting change and improvement in attitude.

If you change your identity

It is easier to align your actions to your goals

Where your identity is what you believe about yourself

It is important

Therefore

To understand that identity is learned

Not preset from birth

Or coded into our genes

Our beliefs about ourselves are learned and conditioned through experience.

Changing identity

Our identity is comprised of our habits. Humans are neurologically designed to seek organisation and patterns in the environment and in behaviour, a defining characteristic of intelligence.

Say you want to become a runner, so you start running five miles each day. After six months you have embodied the identity of a runner.

Say you want to be a playwright, so you start writing plays and stories. After a few plays and stories, you have embodied the identity of a playwright, a storyteller.

Say you want to be a musician, so you start playing the clarinet and composing music. After practising and practising, you have embodied the identity of a musician.

Your habits are how you embody your identity

‘The more you repeat a behaviour, the more you reinforce the identity associated with that behaviour.’ [1] Likewise, you only believe what your identity is now because there is evidence to support your belief.

If you get A*s in mathematics, you have evidence that you are good at mathematics.

If you finish in the top three in a race, you have evidence that you are a strong runner.

If you receive applause for a speech, you have evidence you are a good speaker.

However, whilst, ‘each experience in life modifies your self-image, it’s unlikely you would consider yourself a football player because you kicked a ball once or an artist because you scribbled a picture.’ [1] Nevertheless, as you repeat these actions, the evidence accumulates, and your self-image begins to change. The more evidence you have for a belief, the more strongly you will believe it. It’s the small wins that give you the evidence you need to push forward, to motivate yourself to move to the next step.

So how can I change the beliefs about myself and therefore my attitude?

Build habits that reflect your goals

That reflect who you want to become

Start small, don’t overburden yourself

Repetition is key and your habits, embodying your identity, what you believe about yourself, will be reinforced over time. ‘Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.’ [1]

Each action a suggestion

A hint

Maybe this is who I am.

Set that goal

“It’s a very Greek idea, and a very profound one. Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it. And what could be more terrifying and beautiful, to souls like the Greeks or our own, than to lose control completely? To throw off the chains of being for an instant, to shatter the accident of our mortal selves? Euripides speaks of the Maenads: head thrown I back, throat to the stars, “more like deer than human being.” To be absolutely free! One is quite capable, of course, of working out these destructive passions in more vulgar and less efficient ways. But how glorious to release them in a single burst! To sing, to scream, to dance barefoot in the woods in the dead of night, with no more awareness of mortality than an animal! These are powerful mysteries. The bellowing of bulls. Springs of honey bubbling from the ground. If we are strong enough in our souls we can rip away the veil and look that naked, terrible beauty right in the face; let God consume us, devour us, unstring our bones. Then spit us out reborn.” — Donna Tartt, The Secret History

Now, that being said

What longing possesses your heart and captures your mind?

What captures you and what are you doing to achieve it?

Okay, you have a goal. Great!

But you must write it down

Decipher the steps that you can take to progress.

Make these steps as specific as possible

Where the success and completion of each step is measurable: memorise 4,000 Japanese words, catch two fish, run a half a mile each day

But by when?

It needs a timeline.

Be realistic.

Once you have written down the steps, set milestones or checkpoints, assigning a reward for each one, an incentive to complete it.

However, the key to the success of your goal is the belief that you can actually achieve it.

Ask yourself why you want to achieve this goal.

Write it down.

Discover your true drive.

Perhaps you want to set up a school in Syria because you want to help and teach children whom have only known terror, set up a company because you want to meet new people and travel the world, run a marathon because you want to feel the chills and exuberant high after you finish it, to show yourself that you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

Without a plan of action to achieve it, it will stay a goal and not an achievement. Make it a reality!

Conclusion

In summary, it seems that achieving your goals is not only associated with your identity but intrinsically linked to it. Habits are at the core of our lives, shaping our very nature. They determine, in general, how our days are carried out, whether we have breakfast or shower first, our actions and routines. Habitual thinking creates beliefs, thoughts stored in our memory, reinforced with each repetition, that in turn influence our choices and decision making. However, good habits can be best cultivated through goal setting, allowing you to change and align your habits to your clearly defined dreams. As always, and especially with myself, I realise that there is a gap between knowing and implementing knowledge in life. Nevertheless, I hope this has helped you realise what actions are necessary for you to progress and achieve.

Key takeaways:

• Your life does not automatically get better. A cliche but take it into your own hands. Do not be dependent on others to set your path for you. Find your calling.
• Our attitude is more complicated than it seems at first glance, determined by every experience we have ever had, moulded by our beliefs and identity. Yet we are able to change it for the better through habits and goal setting.
• The most important determinant of how successful we are lies in our habits, starting at the core of our identity. What we repeatedly think about ourselves turns into what we believe about ourselves. What we believe about ourselves turns into what we repeatedly choose for ourselves. What we repeatedly choose turns into how we repeatedly act. Repeated actions become a lifestyle, our attitude to life.
• Most importantly, good attitude is not alone sufficient for success, nor is anything in life. However, paired with hard work, belief and passion in what you do, that will get you anywhere.

Books:

[1] Atomic habits — James Clear

The Power of Habit — Charles Duhigg

Sources:

[2] Positive Attitude Toward Math Supports Early Academic Success: Behavioural Evidence and Neurocognitive Mechanisms: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0956797617735528

[3] The power of positive thinking: Pathological worry is reduced by thought replacement in Generalized Anxiety Disorder: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0005796715300814

[4] The Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect: Does Happiness Lead to Success?: https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/bul-1316803.pdf

Interesting:

Stopping procrastination with the 2-minute rule: https://jamesclear.com/how-to-stop-procrastinating

Seinfield Strategy: https://jamesclear.com/stop-procrastinating-seinfeld-strategy